Classic Card - Elmore Spencer
April 12, 2008
Hey, so when does the baseball game start???
Elmore Spencer is confused.
What the hell play are you calling coach? Princeton? X? What is the ref doing? I can’t see!
Did he just say I have eight fouls? WTF?
Elmore Spencer, 1992-93 Fleer
Besides being perpetually confused by the intricacies of his role in the NBA — rebound, outlet pass, stay out of the way, repeat — Elmore Spencer was also famous for being the first player in NBA history to wear eye black during a game, as a result of the glaring sun that often crept its way into various indoor arenas throughout the league. Spencer also chewed tobacco during games and once tried to break up a fastbreak by sliding into Sherman Douglas, tearing Douglas’ ACL in the process.
When he wasn’t busy pretending to play a different sport, Elmore Spencer spent most of his time being fat. Says the back of the card:
Spencer, the consummate widebody, led UNLV to a 26-2 mark last year as a senior while averaging 14.8 points, 7.9 rebounds, and 2.5 blocks per game.
Consummate widebody? Really? In the context of sports, the term consummate is always followed by “teammate.” That’s it. It’s like having a “u” after a “q.” There is no such thing as a consummate widebody. “Token lardass” would have been the appropriate term. Anyhoo, there’s more:
Spencer may be the perfect backup center for the Clips, providing an effective shot-blocking and rebounding presence in the middle similar to that put forth by Duane Causwell of the Sacramento Kings.
Hey Clippers fans, rest easy! Your team may have found its perfect backup center! And he’s fat! So just sit back, relax, and gear up for the championship run that is sure to ensue! And as hyperbolic as it may have sounded at the time, Elmore Spencer did not take the comparisons to Duane Causwell lightly! Said Spencer in a 1993 interview with Ferret Magazine: Just to be mentioned in the same breath as Duane Causwell is an honor, and I’m truly humbled by the comparison. I mean, what kid growing up in the inner city, shooting hoops at the park until the sun goes down, doesn’t envision himself coming off the bench with three minutes left in the third quarter, with the sole purpose of acquiring three fouls and maybe a rebound? That’s Duane, baby! Every kid I knew growing up wanted to be like DC, man.*
*He said none of this
Did you know?
In order to suit Elmore Spencer during his tenure at UNLV, the team changed its famous “run-and-gun” style of basketball to “jog-and-eat.”
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Mike Kenny was born and raised in NJ, but recently moved to Arizona where he is now a contributing sports columnist to a weekly newspaper in Glendale. His blog — MikeKenny.blogspot.com — contains his weekly columns, other “stuff,” plus a wide array of more classic cards. Tell him what you think, or submit your own classic NBA card at: mkenny59@hotmail.com.
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I know. You’re thinking (hoping) the eye black was just a one-time freak occurrence, right? Think again!
Elmore Spencer, 1993-94 Fleer
This is the best classic card yet. Being a consummate widebody myself I often would refer to nba players of this caliper to emulate, although I never thought to try the eye black on the court. I guess one could blame it on all that time I spent deciding which color headband to wear.
The right color headband is key. I think Uncle Cliffy Robinson used to change color headbands at halftime after having a poor 1st half.
Are we talking Elmore Spencer widebody, Stanley Roberts widebody, or Robert Traylor widebody?
I thought the player was Luol Deng!
Ahhh..the good ole days, I forgot that the Clippers Had Sherman Douglas and Elmore Spencer on the same team, they just don’t make NBA teams like that anymore.
Well this year, both Richie Frahm and Paul Davis started games, which is pretty damn impressive!
Dave- Are you hoping the Clipps draft OJ Mayonnaise?
Where the hell is Elmore Spencer these days? I moved to Atlanta in 1984. I met Elmore when he was only 15. I could not belive the size of this guy at that age.
Not only does he have a dumb look on his card, but the dumbest thig he said to me was that girls don’t play basketball. I told him well where I come ( Philly) from girls could circles around him.
Glad to say his sister was nice.
No kidding… How big was Elmore at 15?