Classic Card of the Week - Shaq

I’m pleased to introduce a new segment: “Classic Card of the Week” by Mike Kenny.

I just recently found his blog, but Mike has been featuring a “Classic Card of the Week” for over 2 years now. He had me laughing out loud in no time, so I sent him this Shaq card and asked if he wanted to be one of my contributors.

When I was growing up, I collected a ton of baseball and basketball cards. As an 80’s kid (before athlete “blogs” and YouTube clips) who (over?) idolized athletes, a card was the perfect way to pay homage to certain players. You could just whip it out and go: “BOOM! Here is my favorite lefty shooter, Chris Mullin. Check the nice photo of his sweet shot on the front and his impressive All-Star stats on the back!”

Now that I think about it, if it wasn’t for my love of sports cards at an early age, I probably wouldn’t have gotten into statistics and fantasy sports, and this site wouldn’t even exist today! And while I wish I hadn’t spent so much of my allowance on cards back then, I’m glad that I’ve utilized my statistical prowess to win that money back by playing fantasy sports.

But enough about me. Let’s get to the “Classic Card of the Week.” Welcome aboard Mike!

Shaquille O’Neal, 1995 Upper Deck

Please do not disturb Shaquille O’Neal when he is stylin’ and profilin’, especially by doing something stupid like trying to reach him on his modestly sized car phone. For crying out loud, if Shaq wants to style and profile with the assistance of a car phone, he will simply pick it up and perpetrate like he is talking: he doesn’t need you calling him up asking him questions! He also has the good sense to end this conversation by launching his phone onto the Orlando highway, which is exactly what he would do if there wasn’t a 10-foot cord attached.

Today is Shaq’s only day off this week, and all he wants to do is throw on as many colors as possible, hop into his drop-top Benz (which he will allow his friend to drive today, because you can’t be drivin,’ stylin,’ and profilin’ all at the same time…that is too much!), bump some Fu-Schnickens, and cruise down the boulevard. Is that too much to ask?

Now let’s check out the back of the card…

His “Shaq-Fu” album was a hot seller in the hip-hop market…

This is true, if by “hip-hop market” they are referring to 11-year old white kids with an allowance who are curiously intrigued as to why their favorite 7-1 basketball player is trying to rap. But “Shaq Fu” would have the last laugh, as it won a Grammy in 1995 for “Best Gimmick.”

…and his appearance in the basketball movie “Blue Chips” was an admirable performance for the first time actor.

Shaquille O’Neal’s role in “Blue Chips” involved him dunking a basketball approximately 17 times and occasionally stylin’ and profilin,’ which he did to rave reviews, such as the one you see above. Luckily, this led to Kazaam, and by “luckily,” I mean for the purposes of making fun of Shaquille O’Neal. Not for O’Neal personally. Oh, one more thing:

On or off the court, Shaquille O’Neal is one of the most stylin’ players in the league.

Whether it was a tie-dyed shirt, a Cross Colors bandanna, or a pair of silver dollar gag glasses, Shaq was widely considered the Kanye West of his day when it came to fashion. The back of the card however, curiously ignores any “profilin” statistical data, but I’m sure he was adept at that as well.

Did you know?
Objects in mirror may be less gangsta than they appear.

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Mike Kenny was born and raised in NJ, but recently moved to Arizona where he is now a contributing sports columnist to a weekly newspaper in Glendale. His blog — MikeKenny.blogspot.com — contains his weekly columns, other “stuff,” plus a wide array of more classic cards. Tell him what you think, or submit your own classic NBA card at: mkenny59@hotmail.com.

PS - Did you miss the 49 Chris Webber rookie cards?